I’m Not Sure What to Say to Someone Who Is Grieving

Feeling awkward around someone who is grieving? You are not alone. The question “but what do I say?” is the most common one we get. And it’s the hardest one because we all know the answer - there is nothing we can say that can make everything better. And all of us have heard stories - or been on the receiving end - of another’s clumsiness with words.

But the good news is also in the answer - there’s nothing that needs to be said. Embrace the awkward. Be you. Be present. Acknowledge what’s happening without trying to make the pain go away. That helps. It truly does.

And on these pages you can also hear from experienced souls some tips that might give you confidence to reach out, take a risk, and be present to those that hurt.

Most Used Resources

Start here - Megan Devine
Ring Theory
64 Things of the Best Things Ever Said to a Griever
How To Write a Condolence Card
How to Talk with Children about Death

So here’s what helps.

Acknowledgement.

This video was created by the amazing Megan Devine at Refuge in Grief.

Worth 4 minutes of your time.

Some practical things you can do for someone grieving, by Nurse Julie

What To Say When Someone Is Grieving - short video by Kate Bowler

More resources from Kate on grief - including podcast episcodes, and blessings

But can’t you just get me a list? I’d really prefer to just read a list of things I could say, or not say.

I get it. So here’s a list, compiled from smart people, grieving people, instagram surveys, and my own thoughts.

Click here

Twin Cities Grief Support Groups

The next Beyond Hospice grief group will be Mondays and Wednesdays in October at the Dunn Brothers coffee shop in Arden Hills.
Oct 5, 7, 12, 14, 19, 21, 26, 28
3-4pm
All Welcome
More info posted in September
The Center for Grief & Loss offers specialized therapy for complicated grief, trauma, and life transitions. All of our staff are clinically trained mental health therapists, which allows us to competently work with a variety of concerns for which individuals and families seek mental health care.
Growing Through Loss (GTL) provides support for adults who have experienced loss, information about the grieving process, caring and support from others who are also grieving and sharing of memories and feelings in a confidential setting. GTL supports loss of spouse, child, parent, other loved ones, loss through suicide,
life transitions such as the loss of job, health, relationships or mid-life changes, multiple losses and provides small group and one-on-one support. GTL is sponsored jointly by The Interdenominational South Suburban Grief Support Coalition, a coalition of 15 churches in the south suburban Minneapolis-St. Paul area. Click here for their website.
Brighter Days Family Grief Cent er is the only nonprofit Family Grief Center in MN providing free resources and services to children, young adults, and adults who are grieving the terminal diagnosis or death of a beloved family member. Look at their calendar for the latest listing of support groups.
These are well received by those who are comfortable in a Christian setting. Click here.
A coalition of churches providing faith-based grief support in the southwest suburbs of the Twin Cities, Minnesota. Click here to their site for information on the latest offerings.
The West Suburban Grief Coalition provides a safe, non-threatening environment where people may share and understand feelings of grief and move forward with their lives.Click h ere for their website, to find their latest offerings.
Churches in the Bloomington-Richfield, Minnesota work together to provide free support and education for adults who are grieving the death of a loved one. You may start any series at any time. There is no commitment on attendance and no cost, though donations are greatly appreciated. Group meetings are held 4:30-6 p.m. on Thursdays. Click here for more information.
In an effort to help participants move forward with their lives, the Edina Coalition for Grief Support offers a short-term program for adults who are experiencing grief due to the death of a loved one. The focus is on education and group support in a safe and confidential environment. We are a nondenominational group inclusive of all backgrounds. Click here for their website for information.
We welcome you to join us any Saturday at 10 am to hear a one-half hour presentation on a topic related to grief and loss. Then from 10:30 to 11:30, join a small group for people experiencing the death of a spouse or partner, family member or friend, or child. Click here for their website for more information.

We are so fortunate to have so many resources right here in the cities. If we can be of service in narrowing down your choices, please don’t hesitate to reach out and we can talk you through the options.

Plus, Beyond Hospice hosts our own rounds of Grief Groups, which are part grief education, part support group, to which everyone is welcome.